Hope and Trust
by rchginger
Summary: Riley's dead. Cameron says that she didn't do. I suck at writing summaries. Can John trust Cameron? Is there Hope for the two of them when everyone seems against them? Jameron centric. R


author's note: I do not own Terminator: the sarah connor chronicles

This is a Jameron story that begins during today is the day part one.

"Was it you…?" he asked, his back was to me. I could hear the clasp opening and closing. The watch. The kill switch. _My _kill switch. "…Did you kill her?"

We had been in the shed when Sarah came to tell him. Riley was dead. He hadn't been able to look at me since she told him; I gave him sometime before coming to find him up here.

**Would he even believe me if I told him the truth?**

"What if I did?"

"Don't play games with me. I need the truth."

The truth. Would he believe the truth? Did I make a mistake in trusting him? Trusting him with everything. With my life.

…maybe… "I didn't kill her."

"I wanna believe you."

He wanted to believe me. That was good, right?

"Believe me." I wanted, needed, him to believe me.

"But sometimes you lie to me."

Yes, that was true. Sometimes I wasn't truthful with John.

Most of the time it was for his own good. But I was starting to realize that even lying to protect John wasn't good. He deserved the truth.

He was my John now.

"Yes. I do. But I'm not lying now." He had stopped playing with my kill switch.

"I am sorry."

He turned now to look at me. His expression a mixture of confusion, upset, sadness and something else….hope?

"You're sorry. For what?"

I wasn't sorry Riley was dead. I couldn't be.

She had been a high security risk to John. That and every time she was near I felt an irritated sensation deep inside, one I couldn't explain.

I didn't like her being near John.

So no I wasn't sorry she was dead, but…..

"For your loss."

"I really wish I could believe that too." He said before brushing past me and re-entering the house.

I didn't turn to watch him go. Didn't follow him inside.

I wanted him to believe in me. To trust me, like he had before….

But nothing I said would change his mind.

He knew I lied to him before and I could be lying now.

He would either believe me. Trust in me. Or…..

…..Or he wouldn't. And I had made a mistake.

I hope I didn't make a mistake.

………………………………

"John's girlfriends dead. The cyborg did it."I said to Jessie as I finished putting a band aid on her knuckles, she had been in a bar fight.

"You know that for sure."

Of course the metal bitch did it.

"Who else could it be?" I said as I finished re-packing the first aid kit.

"What are you going to do?"

"About the metal?"

"Cause you can't kill her Derek…"

I felt a frown pull on the corner of my lips.

What? What the hell?

"…That's not something you can do…."What the hell was she saying? "….he has to make that decision on his own.

The frown deepened as I studied her.

What the hell was she saying….? That she wanted John to be the one to kill Cameron?

Why the hell would it matter who was the one to do the world its greatest favor and kill the bitch, as long as she was killed.

"You've really thought this through."

She was quiet a full minute before she answered me. Her eyes everywhere but on me. "No. But I've thought about it. Same as you." She said finally looking at me.

No. Not same as me.

Yes I've thought about killing the metal bitch. Taking my gun, aiming for the spot above her right eye where her chip was located. But not about John killing her. Never that.

I thought nagged at me but I pushed it aside as I shut her door and walked to the driver side.

……………………………

I had been looking for Cameron. I needed to see her.

Remind myself that she was different. That she wasn't like the other machines.

That she was special. That _I had made her special. _

I wanted to believe her. I did. Probably more than was wise.

But there was that other voice inside my head. The one that said that she could have done it. Of course she could have done it.

But the side, the side of me the wanted to believe. Needed to trust her. That side reasoned that she wouldn't have given me the means to end her, if she had killed Riley.

So I went looking for her. But I found my mom instead.

As I walked into the shed I saw her holding the arm of an endoskeleton that was supposed to have been burned months ago.

But Cameron had kept it and the other parts that laid on the table, for spares.

I had admitted to myself, after I calmed down from learning she had lied to me once again, that it was smart of her to have spears.

She told me that future me told her to keep some parts. I didn't know if that was true or not. Had no way of knowing.

"We were keeping it for research, to learn…."

"Don't. John…Just don't." She said cutting me off. "Don't cover for her. Don't make excuses for her."

"I knew about the parts." Maybe not in the beginning, but there was no reason to tell her that.

"I'm not talking about the parts. I'm talking about Riley."

I heaved a sigh as I moved to stand on the opposite side of the work table.

I had known this was coming… was surprised it took her this long.

"Well there's nothing to talk about is there. Cause Riley's dead."

"And how do you think that happened?"

"I don't know. But I'm going to figure it out."

Mom looked down at the table before looking back at me. "You know John. We both know."

Even though I knew it was coming it still took me a minute. "No. Cameron didn't do."

"How can you say that…?" she asked with a look of confusion. "How can you be so sure?"

I wasn't. But I didn't let her know that. If I did she wouldn't hesitate to kill Cameron. "Because I'm sure. And I know her. And she told me."

"She told you. Just like she told you she burned every part we ever captured…."

No she hadn't told me that. But I forgave her. It was forgotten.

"….Just like she tells us what she does every night while we sleep. In the morning she's covered with cuts and bruises….."

No. But no one was always honest. No one told everyone the absolute truth. Mom didn't know about all the times I snuck out to see Riley, Cameron didn't tell her. _I remembered_. (She kept my secret). Mom didn't tell me what she was always doing. And none of us knew what the hell Derek was up to.

Mom grabbed my chin bringing my attention back to her. "…..Just like she told you she loved you."

The words hit me like a blow in the stomach, making me release my breath.

Making me remember the things I had been fighting to forget, the words Cameron had spoken when she had been pinned between those trucks…..

_I Love You John and You Love me………….._

……………_..She doesn't know. She doesn't. I Love You._

…..How could she say that? Use that to try to turn me against Cameron.

I fought the pain and hurt as I brought my hands down onto the table. "You don't know anything." I said with barely controlled anger, before turning and leaving the shed.

I had to find proof. Something, anything. That proved Cam didn't do it, before mom and Derek took it into their own hands.

I let out a short bitter filled laugh; I had to save her from them. Had to save the machine from the humans.

But first I had to keep her foster parent's from going to the cops.

I would need Cameron.

I set off to find her. Again.

………………………………….

"John. Joooohhnnn...I Love you John." I said before flipping the phone close and exiting the car, walking to meet John half way.

He looked upset. It was there on his face, in the set of his shoulders.

But I wasn't sure why.

Not really.

I knew I had done something wrong.

And maybe what I said had been….I search for the word….stupid. But I had something I needed to tell him. Something I wouldn't have been able to tell him in a normal situation.

So I took advantage of this…..and…and I thought he'd want to hear her voice.

At that thought the sensation I had always felt when he was near her came back. She was dead and I was still having this sensation; that was illogical, I didn't understand it. And I didn't like it.

Maybe I was wrong. I could have been wrong.

The thought that I could have possibly been wrong served to ease the sensation.

…………………………….

"What the hell was that about?" I asked as I came to a stop in front of her.

"What was what about?"

"What happened just now?" Had she been able to forget it so easily?

Because I hadn't. What she had said on the phone before we hung up still clinged to my mind.

Those three little words wouldn't leave me.

And she had no idea….Not a clue…. Of what she had done to me.

"It was the plan."She said it so matter-of-factly, as if nothing had happened.

No. What she had done was much more than the plan.

What she did……How could she? _Why _would she?

The affect of the words hit me harder than they would normally have. With it being so close to mom reminding me of the last time she had said those words….

Reminding me how truthful that had been and how _untruthful _they had been.

"No that was not the plan. The plan was to call the foster parent's. The plan was to let _him_ hear her voice."

"That's what I did."

No she did more than that. "That's not all you did."She tilted my already unstable world on its sides, is what she did. "What you did was not the plan."

"The plan was to make him believe she was still alive. The plan was to keep him from going to the police. You became a part of that plan. Your reaction made it more authentic."

She tilted her head sideways and looked up at me from underneath her lashes with those big chocolate brown eyes that were a constant feature in my dreams.** Along with their owner. **"Don't you think it made it more authentic?"

I didn't answer her.

"Where are we going now?"

"We're not going anywhere. _I'm _going somewhere and I'm going alone." I said before brushing past her.

"You shouldn't be alone."

"Yes I should." I really should. I needed to clear my head. Needed to get her out of my mind…that thought in its self was stupid…she was always in my mind. Even if I didn't want her there.

And I had a feeling she would be there for the rest of tonight, I still had to find some way to prove she didn't kill Riley…..

…..**How messed up is it to go see a dead girl who thought of herself as your girlfriend…who you were suppose to care about….who cared about you….in the morgue so that you could prove that another girl, who isn't even a girl; who you care about more than you should, more than what was wise, didn't kill her?**

This was the question that tugged on my mine as I walked away. Not turning to see if she was watching me. I couldn't look at her now. I needed time.

…………………….

I drove around aimlessly as I let my thoughts wonder. As I thought about what Jessie had said before dragging me off to bed.

……………….Flash back……………………..

"Derek?" she asked as she stopped and came back to me.

I hadn't entered the room, instead pausing in the doorway. Something was bugging. Something she said.

"I've been thinking about Riley. What the cyborg did to her." I watched her intently as she replied.

"It's a terrible thing. But maybe some good can come of it. You know, if It helps John realize what the metal is. What it really does."

What? No good would come from this. And I said as much. "Good. An innocent kid is dead. Because that metal bitch killed her cold blood." I shook my head. "No can come from that."

Jessie was quiet, her gaze on the floor. "You're a good man Derek." She said quietly before wrapping her arms around me and kissing me, before dragging me off to bed. All thoughts and questions forgotten.

………………End of Flashback……………….

But now all of those thoughts came back and I couldn't get what she had said about John having to be the one to kill the metal out of my head.

I couldn't understand why should would say that.

I mean, yes if I was to kill her John would be pissed (**probably beyond pissed)**. But Jessie wouldn't know that, I hadn't told her about how close John was getting to the metal.

She had been acting different. First she is unwilling to tell me her JD date. Then she is reluctant to help me with a simple track and grab mission. And only agrees to it after I give her the option of either helping me or telling me what's happening with her plan. She obviously hadn't wanted to tell me about her plan, at the time I hadn't gave it any thought but……….

…….her plan was to get John any from Cameron………..but Jessie would, she would do that………she wouldn't go that far. I couldn't, wouldn't, believe that of her.

Besides she had never met Riley….

But one thing I knew for certain, she wasn't the same Jessie that I had left.

………………………..

I looked over my shoulder at Cameron. She hadn't gotten out of the car but instead still sat in the driver's seat, her hands clenched around the steering wheel.

At first I thought she was having one of her glitches, but realized that she was in deep thought her eyes on Derek's truck. And I knew what she was thinking…One more person who had found her guilty with any type of proof or hesitation. It was at that time that I realized I hadn't told her I believed her. That I knew she didn't kill Riley.

I turned and headed back to the car, went around to the passenger side, opened the door and slide back inside not bothering to shut the door.

"I know you didn't kill her."

She turned to look at me. "Is that were you went?"

I nodded. "I needed to know."

"And know you do." She said simply, before turning to face forward once again.

"I thought you'd want to know. That I know you didn't kill her."

"Yes…" she said, her voice had gone flat and mechanical. "…I appreciate knowing that you now _know_ I didn't kill her. Thank you."

She was making it clear. The difference. That I know she didn't, not that I believed her when she said she didn't.

If I didn't know any better I would have thought she was hurt.

But I couldn't allow myself to believe she could feel to that extent. Allow myself to hope.

"They're not going to believe you." She said nodding towards the house. "They've already made up their minds and found me guilty."

I thought that she was right, at least about the second part, but was silent as I exited the car shutting it behind me before starting towards the house.

But we would see about the first.

I entered the house and could hear their voices coming from the kitchen. I started that way but paused in the dining room, stopping to listen.

"What are you going to do about the metal?" Derek asked. His voice rough and hoarse.

"I don't know what to do about Cameron…"

"Come one Sarah you know what has to be done."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is."

"No…" mom said her voice tense. "…no it's not. John…"

"John doesn't see her clearly…" Derek said cutting her off. "….He isn't able to, or doesn't want to, see what she really is. What she really does."

"You think I don't know that Derek."She said I could imagine her running her fingers through her hair. "You think I don't see how he looks at her sometimes. I know Derek…I know…but if we were to do anything to her John would never forgive us. I already feel, like, with each passing day I'm losing him a little more. I don't want to speed that up over her."

"So what? We do nothing. She gets away with kill that girl."

I had heard enough and stepped into the kitchen. Their conversation was immediately dropped and their attention on me, trying to figure out how much I had heard. "We do nothing…" I said, looking at each of them in turn. "…because she didn't kill Riley."

"John…" they said together. Their voice the same level of frustration.

"….Just because you don't want it to be the truth isn't going to change to facts. It's what they do. It's what_ she_ does." It was Derek who finished.

I'm not saying it because I _want_ to believe it's true. I'm saying it because it _is _true."

"John…" mom started but I had heard enough.

"I went to the morgue. To see Riley."

"John that was…." Both. Again.

"I know what it was. But I did it and it's done…. She had bruises and defensive wounds on her hands. Now you tell me, how she would have any of those if Cameron had killed her…" I paused, but neither of them said anything. They were silent for once. "…Because I can't come up with any reason she would have those if Cameron killed her. There wouldn't have been a fight." I looked at Derek and waited for him to look me in the eyes. "The metal didn't do it. _She _didn't do it."

The room was silent.

"John…" the sound of my name broke the growing tension and the silence. I hadn't known she had entered the room, hadn't known she was behind me. This wasn't unusually with Cameron.

I turned to look at her. A small smile was playing around the edges of her lips and it went straight to my heart. It had been I long time since the last time I seen her smile. And I knew that had been my fault. I hadn't given her much to smile about lately…I hoped that would change soon.

No, not hoped. It would change.

The smile was gone as soon as it had come. "…John I didn't kill Riley. So who did?"

That was a question. That was _**the **_question.

And I was going to find the answer.

…………………….Jessie……………..

**What did I do? What have I done?**

**I killed her. **

**That hadn't been a part of the plan. **

**But I hadn't meant for that to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen. **

**She was supposed to die of course. Yes, but the metal was supposed to be the one to kill her. If the metal killed her it wouldn't have been one my hands. It would have been her. Not me. I'd have been clear. **

**But no Riley had to go and mess everything all up. She had to go and attack me, making me defend myself. Making me have to kill her. **

**Suddenly I was extremely pissed off. This was all Riley's fault. She was the reason everything was falling apart. **

**The stupid bitch. She couldn't even die right. **

**Now Connor would be looking for her killer. Looking for me. **

**I didn't hold any illusions that he would believe it were the metal. Even though I prayed he would. I knew he wouldn't. Not if he didn't condemn her right off. **

**Otherwise he'd check. He'd find her in the morgue and check. **

**And then he would know it hadn't been a machine. It had been to messily done. He'd know a human had killed her. **

**And then he would come. Him and that metal bitch of his. **

**What was I going to do? What was to be done now?**

……………………To be continued……………………….

………………The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for……………………………………..

………………………..CAMERON……………………………..

I had finished my perimeter rounds and checked on John before coming down to the dining room. Sitting at the table, varies newspapers spread out in front of me. I was looking for anything that maybe skynet related, a sign, but there was nothing. All was quiet and I was sure that couldn't be a good thing.

I picked up a newspaper and scanned it quickly; it took me less than a minute, before setting it aside and picking up another. As I scanned over the newspapers one after the next, still not finding anything that pointed to being skynet related, I tried to figure out why it would be so quiet…..The Turk was missing and Cromarties endoskeleton as well. I still believed that agent Ellison had something to do with that, it was the only thing that made logical sense he was the only other person who knew where the endoskeleton had been buried. Derek Reese had no reason to dig Cromartie up; he also did not have the opportunity. So I had been, and was still, certain agent Ellison had been the one, but John……I paused…..John, John cared to much about human life, maybe that was a good thing…….he cared to much about my existence. He had endangered his life to reactivate me. To keep me. That couldn't be a good thing….Could it?

Movement on the stairs drew my attention up and away from the newspaper and my wayward thought processing. I watch as he walked to where I was sitting, the lights were not on so he must have heard the rustling of the papers as I shuffled them. He bumped into a box that had been sat down just inside the doorway, it was a moving box. John and Sarah had decided it was time to move, and I agreed it was becoming increasingly risky to live here. I didn't know where we were going, didn't know if they knew.

"Cameron. What are you doing?"

He knew what I was doing. So why was he asking. I didn't know but answered any ways. "Scanning the newspapers."

"You find anything?"

"No."

John still hadn't sat down or had made any move to do so. I watched as he shifted from foot to foot, he was nervous…Why? "Is everything okay John?"

"Yeah."

I folded up the paper and proceeded to clear off the table. John still had not moved, I looked back up at him. "John?"

"I need to talk to you about something." He said as he pulled out the chair opposite me and dropped into.

He needed to talk to me, but why would needing to talk to me make John nervous. John talked to me all the time….no, I corrected, no it had been awhile since John had truly talked to me. John didn't even seem to like me anymore. Was that my Fault? "Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"For what John?"

"For not believing you……"

For not believing that I killed Riley. "Why did you go to see her in the morgue?"

Now John looked confused. "Did you go to see her or…"

"I went because I needed to know. Needed to be sure."

"You had needed conformation. Which means that you did believe me; you just needed to be sure. I understand that."

He looked as if he didn't believe me. "You do?"

"I do?"

………………………….JOHN……………………………..

*Author's note- The only type gun I know anything about is Beretta. And I have no idea if the Beretta Px4 is the type of gun Cameron would use, but it's my fanfic so I'm giving her my gun. Thanks and please enjoy.

……………………….

The dream I had, had been disturbing and had waked me up from what had been a relaxing sleep. I still wasn't sure what it had been about. All I remember was that she wasn't there……..

…………_.I called and called for her and looked around everywhere but I couldn't find her…._

_She hadn't been there. _

…_.Then I was in a forest, it was dark and fog hung low to the ground. And she was there. I had found her, but I wish that I hadn't. _

_She was in a hole, covered in thermite. Mom stood over her, flare in hand. She was going to burn her. I tried to go to her, but I couldn't move. My legs had felt like they were set in cement. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't move….._

…_. Couldn't go to her._

…_.. Couldn't stop it. _

_I tried to scream out. Tried to get mom to stop. Tried…but I couldn't. No words would come. _

_So I watched. I had no choice and I watch as she was burned. Watched as she was destroyed. And I couldn't stop it._

_Couldn't save her…_

…_.tears running uncontrolled down my face as I watched the flames consume her. And then she was gone…It was as if she had never been. Nothing remained of her…._

_Then the dream changed…and I was running. Running for my life. I knew who, no, what was chasing me. A T-888. I could hear it as it raced after me as I dashed through the trees, the sun high in the sky making me sweat. I ran faster. Harder. Pushing myself. And prayed. Prayed that she would come. That she would save me…but I knew she wouldn't. Knew she couldn't…I would have to save myself…_

_I paused in my tracks; it was in front of me now. But how? How could it have gotten in front of me?_

_Maybe it hadn't …Maybe there was two. Maybe…Could be. _

_I turned, changed my direction and trip…I could hear, It? Them...Getting closer. I looked up and……and then I was awake…………._

………The only thing I had thought of, the only thing I had wanted, was to see her. To see for myself that she was still there. And she had been. She was always there…But would she always be? Always be there when I needed her? Always be there when I didn't believe I did? I wanted to think so, wanted to believe that she would always be there. But I wasn't sure.

…………………

"You do?" I asked.

"I do." She answered, before continuing to clear the table.

I looked at her. Studied her.

She looked so normal on the outside. Like an average…no I corrected, nothing about Cameron's looks were average. Were regular….she looked like a normal teenage girl. On the outside.

And it was that, the outside, that made me forget sometimes. Made it hard to remember what she was on the inside.

But she wasn't. She wasn't a normal teenage girl.

A Beretta Px4 semi-automatic was on the table before her. And I knew that the shotgun wouldn't be far. Normal teenage girls didn't carry those, may not even know how to use one.

**Normal teenage girls also couldn't bench press a truck**, I thought to myself a smile curving my lips.

"Cam.." I wait for her attention to come back to me.

"Yes John?"

"There was something else I wanted to speak with you about."Her attention was on me but I knew that if someone was to come to near that she would know. "About what you said earlier."

"Earlier? I said a lot of things earlier John."

Yeah she had. She had said…I stopped myself. She probably hadn't been talking about that. "Yeah, but I'm talking about in the kitchen. When we came back."

She understood now, I could see. "About Riley."

I nodded. "I want, no, need to find out who killed her." I looked her straight in the eyes. "I need you to help me. I need your help."

"Of course I'll help you John. Do you know where we should start?"

I had an idea. "Riley talked to someone. Trusted someone."

"Trusted them with what John?"

With her secrets. With Mexico. "Does that matter now Cam?"

"No. I guess it doesn't. Do you think this person she trusted may have killed her. Or may know who did?"

"It's my best guest."

"Do you know who this person is?"

"No. But mom talked to some guidance counselor who knew more than she should. If Riley talked to her about those things, maybe Riley talked to her about who she trusted."

"Okay, we should start there. Your mom may still have the number."

"Yeah but I don't think she'll be willing to talk to us."

Cameron tilted her head a little. "Why not?"

"Confidentiality agreements or what not." I thought it through. "But she was from our old school. We could find her through there."

"John we can't go to the school. That is too big of a risk. I can't allow that."

"Fine. I'll hack into the system. They keep files on employees that contains their address. We find out where she lives. Stake it out and take it from there."

Cameron nodded, apparently satisfied.

It was silent after that. A comfortable silence that was soon broken by Cameron.

"Why did you wake up John? You should have slept for at least another three hours and 35 minutes."

**Because I needed to see you. **" My throat was so dry it woke me. I came down to get something to drink."

"Would you like me to get you something to drink."

"Thanks but I'll get it."

She studied me. "You look tired. Let me…"she stood. "How about some tea. Your mom packed up almost everything in the kitchen. But I know where everything is."

I opened my mouth to refuse again, but stopped. It would probably take me a long time to find out where mom had packed everything. Cameron already knew. "Sure thanks…Cam" I said stopping her.

She turned around as soon the words were out of my mouth.

"How do you know where everything is?"

She smiled slightly. "I don't sleep." She said simply before turning and going into the kitchen.

I didn't take her long to come back, carrying a mug with her. She sat it in front of me before returning to her seat. "You should try to go back to sleep John. You look tired. You need your rest."

Yeah, but I didn't want to sleep. Didn't want to close my eyes. I was afraid if I did I would lose her again.

I didn't want to lose her.

……………………Jessie…………

It hadn't been my fault. The mission had gone badly and it hadn't been my fault.

It wasn't Connor's either.

It was the metal bitch. It was her fault. She was to blame.

She had twisted Connor's mind. Kept him from anyone else.

It was her fault….

….and the box. That wasn't on me. It wasn't.

I had told them not to open it. They hadn't listened.

And then…and then. Then Hell came. Hell came out of the box….God what happened, I stopped myself from thinking that…I wouldn't think about it. I Wouldn't. It wasn't my fault…It wasn't.

The metal bitch had told Connor he needed it. That's why we went there. That's why _my _crew was sent there. Because of her.

And this was her fault to….The bitch…this was her fault. My plan was ruined because of that tin-can.

If she had done her duty. If she had done what she was supposed to and protected Connor none of this would have happened.

She should have killed Riley. She had become a high security threat to John, I made sure of that. So she should have killed her. SHE SHOULD HAVE KILLED HER…

But she didn't.

What the hell was that about? The metal just let her go. That shouldn't have happened. She was supposed to protect him from any and all threats and yet she didn't kill Riley even knowing she was becoming an increasing threat.

Why?

I stopped my thoughts in its tracks…it didn't matter why? It only mattered that she didn't.

Now…Now I didn't know what to do.

**I should run. Before Connor started looking for me. Maybe he already had. **

But Derek…

What would Derek do if I told him what I had done. If I told him what I had done and asked him to come with me?

Would he…? I stopped myself again.

He wouldn't he was appalled at the thought of a innocent girl dying…But she hadn't been innocent, not really she hadn't….If I told Derek about Riley. If I told him the truth about her maybe he would see. Maybe he would feel different…Maybe. Maybe…But no. No he would get angrier. Be more disgusted with me. Derek was a good man. He wouldn't approve. No matter my motivation, he might even tell Connor. Leave me to the metal…no…no Derek wouldn't do that.

Would he? I couldn't be sure. Couldn't be certain. And I needed to be certain if I was going to tell him. So I had to run, and I couldn't tell Derek. Couldn't ask him to come with me.

But if I left without letting him know would he get suspicious? Would he tell Connor about me? Would he come for me?

I didn't know.

But maybe if I told him I was going back…back to fight the war. That I had had enough time to relax and I was going back…Maybe that would work. Maybe…I didn't know but I had to figure it out fast. Connor would soon start looking for Riley's killer. Looking for me and I had made a mistake. A mistake that hadn't looked like a mistake at the time. At the time it had been part of the plan. But now it was a mistake.

I had talked to Sarah. And she would have told John. Told him she had spoken to a guidance counselor from his school. So he'd look there and he wouldn't find her. But that wouldn't stop him. That would make him more curious. More suspicious. And if Sarah talked to Derek. Told him about me, the guidance counselor. It might make him think…think about me…I had made mistakes with him to I was now realizing. My reaction when he told me Riley was dead. When he told me the cyborg did it.

He had asked me then. Asked me if I had thought it through.

I said no. That I had of course thought about and he seemed to take that. I distracted him when he later seemed to be thinking it through. But if Sarah talked to him…

I had to leave. Run. I had no choice.

I had no choice.

……………………………………..


End file.
